In the vicinity of death

Cheating death, this is the second time I had seen someone so close to death, only that this time he escaped alive. Death can be such a deep unfathomable mystery but also the most inevitable truth and yet is the most feared, detested and abominable fact of life.

The power of the mind

A speck in the sands of time that would one day cast impressions of stone in the dunes of sand. Why do we all get illusions, or rather simply put why do we all think, oh just give me a break, my mind goes blank when its most needed and exams have helped me realize have a stark way of making me realize that. It found even better ways of deserting me at the most needed hour, especially in the face of battle, I pity poor Karna, fully empathize with how he would have faced Arjuna, well in my case I had to face not one but 100s of Arjunas, in a lecture hall giving a public speech and firing the most devastating volleys of verbal conundrums at you that had it not been for the sake of etiquette, I would have hurled the finest expletives at them and make them wish they were never born into this world. Well sometimes the mind can be so promiscuous and just leave you at the cardinal hour. Karna had Parashuram to blame, I'm yet to find mine. That your mind can make one feel so powerless is surely a cardinal testament to the power of the mind and the energy we wield to control it through our thoughts. So how does one really control the flow of thoughts, wish I knew it as well; otherwise I wouldn't have been blogging randomly.

The Idealist

What is idealism, who is an idealist? Can the world really be ideal? Sometimes I wonder why do I not have an ideal love affair, now what can be an ideal love affair. Does it have to be some puerile dream or another juvenile fantasy ending just the way they do in those oh so perfect movies, depicting heavenly love affairs meant to last an eternity? Is it so, but then we do not live in Hollywood, nor do I live in Notting Hill neither have most of us had an adventure aboard the Titanic, but then why do I sometimes feel so filled with compunction when nothing happens this way. Aren’t we all getting stereotyped, being driven as mortal as we are toward a concept so fanciful that romance is no longer a mere expression of hearts but an exalted feeling of sublime expectations to merely vindicate what we all see in the movies. Maybe I am generalizing too far, but for those of us who have been influenced by movies to some extent, this is quite true. But well, couldn't this also be the road to perdition for when our expectations fall flat considering the vagaries of this realistic world and the fact that the world is never going to be utopian at least not in the near future, one would be left with a lot of frustration and ire.

But then why do we even fancy idealism? It is another byproduct of living in a competition crazy world and being brought up in an environment where the fervent passion to win can be so delirious and almost hysterical as that of Genghis khan. Well it surely did end up as barbaric in his case. Now whom do we blame for this, our parents? Teachers? or we ourselves are to blame. For falling prey to a society and environment beleaguered with cut throat competition that we no longer care about others and least of all our own necks and end up as hapless victims. What then could be the panacea to this frenzy of quixotic idealism that we come to know much later is utterly futile? How many people have wasted their lives in this mad rush?

Wish I could put a stop to this, wish I had lived in Wells' novels with an ability to make time stand still, maybe must ask someone in a black hole, but can't do that either without throwing my life to the universe ready to be shred into atoms by a force so powerful, unmatched and devastating as that of a black hole. But well we are light-years away from the nearest black hole and they are not even in the vicinity of any electromagnetic spectrum visible or invisible to the human eye, so why even bother about it. Maybe a better alternative would be to find out the nub of the problem and nip it in the bud. As economists would point out it is the sheer demand for resources and the massive crunch in the supply that is leading us to this maniacal race for survival. A theologist would probably say that it is sheer human greed that has driven us near the gates of hell ready to be doomed on earth itself waiting for hell's angels! But then, being an optimist, I do not believe in the theory of doom & neither do I have such an acute interest in the metaphysical world. I live in the present and all that I'm asking for is a subtle slice of that so called freedom and peace of mind remote from this frenetic rush.

And probably then I would then know what an ideal love affair should be like because my expectations and desires should then not hopefully cloud my feelings and just leave me free to do whatever I feel.